My body is starting to settle down a bit. I'm still bloated, gassy, and constipated, but not as much.

I got some protein shake powder. I have canned salmon and tuna. There's some chicken and plant based beef in the freezer for proteins. Have a variety of nuts, so healthy fats. Oatmeal, Cheerios, almond butter, almond and soy milk, yogurt, frozen fruits and veggies. I'm not binging on anymore of my mom's fking moose tracks ice cream and the most calorie dense desert recipe she can find on the internet anymore just to feel guilty and have it come back up with some acid and blood, feel even more guilty, and then pass out within the hour and wake up feeling like sh-it. I'm done. If I'm going to be self-destructive it's going to be with alcohol. At least I'll feel good during some of it and then not remember half of it instead of from the start "don't do it...don't do it...fk I'm doing it." And at least it's not going to be as painful as a death.