I can't keep fighting it. This is now our home. Since starting these meds I have no drive. I can stay home alone but not interact with people. I'm in bed scrolling on my phone all the time. H wants me to start coloring again. Mom wants me to work on Christmas cards. They're talking about me learning programming or Spanish but I have no drive. I'm getting infuriated by everything. I'm calm but angry. We have obligations this summer that I don't want. We're making big moves to make this a forever home. I still don't have my service dog and my esa dog is having balance problems. plus her tumor split open so that has to be removed. I don't have a pdoc/T until August at least. We're going to try to move to a more handicap friendly apartment. I just wish I could be normal. This whole moving has been very hard on me and my not talking/ being around people I don't know it's really hard. I don't know how to get passed my "shyness"/paranoia. I'm not even active here anymore. I check on you guys but I have nothing to say. I'm hardly even talking to h or Miguel I'm just here. I don't even know how to start. I hate being trapped inside myself. Nothing going on in my head. Nothing to talk about, nothing to do, just going to go back to scrolling. Good to see everyone.