As a Yank, I'm curious as to what exactly is a meat "joint." I've encountered the term before, probably in an old folk song, but never figured out quite what it was. I must agree with your coworker who advised you not to wrestle with thieves. You're the feisty, spirited type, I take it. You did salvage some inventory and probably discouraged this dude from coming around again.

The parenting style you grew up under sounds a lot like what I experienced. Mine was, perhaps, even more that way, as I'm a bit older. My parents were totally into the "authoritative" stance, when dealing with kid, and they had zero interest in how we felt about that.

My longtime companion went through a long period of declining health, during which I had to take up more and more of the household responsibilities. During his well years, he was great about cooking, cleaning, shopping, etc. But his increasing disability eventually meant I did e v e r y t h i ng. He's gone now, and I feel bad about ever snapping at him, but I remind myself that it was a lot that I had to do. Time management is not my strong point, so I didn't always have dinner ready at our normal time of eating. He would get out of sorts over that, and I would get quite snappy. I'ld say, "You can wait another hour, or I can go to Burger King right now and bring dinner back in 20 minutes." (He disliked fast food.) It got to where he would have gone to a nursing home, were it not for me doing the housework and rendering all his physical care. I'll come right out and admit it: From time to time, I'ld use that. "If you go into a nursing home, you'll get all your meals at the exact same time every day!" Of course, now I almost want to cut my tongue out for my snappy outbursts toward him. Then again, in fairness to myself, he would sometimes take what I was doing for granted. I loved him and knew I was loved, but it's nice to get told you're appreciated.

If your husband has declining abilities, it's likely the load on you will get heavier. You need to feel appreciated and not taken for granted. Fair is fair. Now and then, it's ok to point out how much you accomplished in a busy week and say, "How about a little pat on the head?" Sometimes my stress would build up and I would be overly irritable. Then I would apologize. Often that would prompt him to express some sincere appreciation, which was good to hear. Unlike you, I wasn't working outside the home. It sounds like you're doing a lot. Where he can, he needs to pitch in.