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But I'm afraid I blew this one.
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If you offer kindness and fit, and if she nevertheless chooses hurtful flamboyance, she is the one who is blowing it, not you!
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though I have the impression she realizes it is not always a good idea she will probably fall for it again. Maybe she already has.
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Well, as Discombobulated suggested, maybe she is ready for a change. It isn't your fault if she chooses unwisely, but the magnetism of your kind presence may yet draw her in.