I'm just really angry that they won't help me. I have to ride the depression out as they think anti-depressants make me manic. I've only been on them prior to diagnosis so who knows. Now I must ride out the mania too. The paranoia is getting out of hand. I can't keep going on like this. Plus I'm worried they'll section me or make me take meds if I come off them ie a Compulsory Treatment Order which was put in my notes last February.

Then to topple it off my supposed friend isn't being a friend she's not even acknowledged me or my plea for listening but I've been there for her. She too has mental health issues. I have no friends just acquaintances.

I'm judging myself as the world is judging me. I'm too insightful into my illness (all professionals say this!) Yet no one is listening to me. I'm waiting on the crash happening!