That is the third hospital dream I’ve had in a row. First one I self harmed and was being chased down. Second one I was committed and no one would tell me why. I was arguing that I was perfectly fine and they were telling me I did something but they wouldn’t tell me what. Last night I dreamed I was trying to escape from the crisis center in the ER because again, I couldn’t understand why they were keeping me. And I knew they would hospitalize me because that happens EVERY time I end up in the psych ER. I swear at this point they just see my name and immediately say yeah, IP before even talking to me!

I wonder if my subconscious doesn’t trust my stability and is conjuring these dreams out of fear that it will all fall apart. My conscious brain is just enjoying the moment and not worrying about the future. But everyone keeps asking me if I’m sure I’m feeling well and maybe that’s making my subconscious doubt itself.

Idk. I feel good and dammit I’m going to enjoy it. Because yeah, it could fall apart, it could fall apart tomorrow, but I’m not gonna worry about that. It’s not worth it.