My previous post about that FB friend who invited me to visit her only to dismiss me and fight with her mom on her cellphone instead, is 1 of 2 failed vacations this summer for me.

The second situation centers around another FB friend. We also never met and spoke on the phone a lot this past spring (she is a licensed therapist too) not as patient-therapist but as friends (we both belong to the same FB group).

She invited me to visit her this summer and before I lost my summer contract job, I gave her dates I planned to visit. Then, I lost my summer contract job and let her know I couldn't come after all.

She got really mad at me and complained that my canceling disrupted her and her husband's lives, since she claimed they set aside time to spend with me (her husband works a retail job and she sets her own hours with her clients in her home office).

The conversation took place via text since she wouldn't take my phone calls (which I thought was immature for a licensed therapist). I tried to reschedule the visit and she said she didn't know if that was a possibility with me.

Then, today on FB one of her married couple friends posted how excited they were to come visit her "for realsies" (which made me think she vented to them about me backing out of coming to visit her). I thought that was not a coincidence that they posted that reference. I also thought, if it IS tied to my needing to cancel for financial reasons, her response was really mean. Being disappointed is normal. I get it. But to gossip about me to her other friends? I think that is disrespectful and shows me that I'm glad my trip to visit her didn't pan out after all.

I haven't texted or called my friend to tell her that I saw her married FB friend's comments (that referenced me indirectly via the "we're coming for realsies"). I'm tempted to confront my friend for gossiping about me, but past experience has shown me that doesn't accomplish anything. She chose to act this way because I think at the end of the day, she must not really like or respect me to want a real friendship. Had I a spouse or full-time job income to pay the roundtrip airfare/hotel/rental car for myself, I would. But I don't right now.

When I had initially told her I was coming, she flooded my texts with links to all kinds of tourist activities with the caveat that she wouldn't be joining me. She even said she planned to take me out to celebrate graduating from my grad school program.

I texted back, "I'm not really able to afford to do those activities and had just planned to visit with you guys." I also let her know that I can't eat seafood and needed to know restaurants that had other menu options.

She kept changing her tone and her availability with me via text message prior to me losing my contract role that would have lasted through June, thus giving me the money that I needed for airfare and hotel and possibly a rental.

Now, if I call her, my call goes straight to voicemail. If I text her, she ignores my texts.

Why do some adult friendships work out this way? I don't know what I did wrong in this scenario? I planned to come visit her letting her know the dates. Then when the client canceled my contract job for the month of June, I let my friend know that I couldn't afford it. She knows that I am not full-time employed and was a grad student working part-time contract work too. So, you'd think she would be sympathetic instead of mean and gossip about me behind my back to her other FB friends (a married couple whose son goes to college in my FB friend's city. so they visit my FB friend and her husband every summer).

Add to the fact, that if I had a spouse or a full-time job, I'd have more stable income and the savings to reliably book a trip. This my FB friend knows too.

I don't understand why she couldn't just tell me she was disappointed and upset that my trip plans didn't work out and that hopefully we could meetup in the future. She has a license in counseling for pete sake, and is trained to talk to people. Yet, she can't be bothered to respect me enough to see the bigger picture.

There is a 3rd FB trip possibility this fall that I'm hesitant about. She has been mutual friends with the FB friend for years and I don't know if the two of them ever met in person, because we never discussed it. So, this 3rd FB friend is hosting a weekend thing and hasn't set a date yet.

I responded to her FB post that I would love to go. So, I am aware that my other FB friend probably saw that and fumed about my canceling my trip to visit her, due to financial reasons. So, I take responsibility for that. But I had also let her know that I could afford to visit her this fall or this winter on my birthday because by then I'll have the income.

Even if I had private messaged the 3rd FB friend about her weekend soiree tentative plans, I can only assume she would share that info with our mutual FB friend whom she's known for years. So, either way, my response that I was interested, may not have sat well with the FB friend #2 who I had to cancel on when I lost the summer contract job, that I had planned to use the income from for my trip expenses to visit her for a week.

It makes me not want to put the effort in anymore with trying to make adult friendships. Can anyone relate or offer any feedback? Thanks.