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Originally Posted by Yaowen
Since I have never had much luck on FB, I don't have much faith in it or in the people I meet there. No disrespect intended to others, but my string of bad luck has kind of soured me to that social interaction site. I am most sorry that people have been treating you unkindly and cruelly. I am also saddened to hear that sort of thing. Hopefully other members here, people with experience on FB will see your post and come up with some good and helpful ideas for you. I am so sorry that happened to you!
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Thanks Yaowen. I need to check out local Meetup groups in my city, I think. I will have better luck meeting people in person for potential friendships. My luck with FB friendships has been awful. It's like someone said in my other thread, you don't really know someone until you meet and hang out with them in person. I already learned that lesson when I went to visit former FB friend #1 that was so traumatic I had to post about it, to help me process the experience.
FB friend #2 and FB friend #3 know each other and I'm the outsider. If FB friend #2 is going to alienate me because I had to postpone a trip to visit her due to financial reasons out of my control, then she's not really the kind of friend I need.
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Originally Posted by Bill3
Your friend evidently doubted your reason for not coming over the summer. It sounds like she has now gone into full-blown rude overreaction. I'm sorry that she treated you this way. It isn't the first time that a therapist is awful in their personal life!
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Bill...her husband is a certified life coach
who has to work a retail job because he's not making money with coaching clients. And that's my problem because...? She and her husband chose to move to FL (which everyone knows is one of the most expensive states to live in, despite the tax breaks)
I feel like she was projecting her own financial straits on to my planned trip. Like, her taking days off to see clients and her husband asking for days off work so they could hang out with me is a nice gesture, sure.
Yes, I set myself up for her judgment by responding to our mutual FB #3 friend's tentative soiree weekend post (no date set yet) that I'd love to go. Flakey of me? Definitely. Insensitive to her feelings? Probably. STILL...I wasn't expecting such a rude response from her. I expected (again, my fault for assuming people who are my 'friend' will respond like I would in situations, which is naive and gets me in trouble) her to respond with more sympathy. Something like, "Sorry to hear! I hope you can reschedule your trip. We'll have so much fun when you can finally visit." That's what I would have responded with. So, I guess I need to stop setting myself to expect other people to respond like I would.
I feel like her sudden need to distance herself from me is super rude, and definitely a full-blown overreaction from her considering she hosts a constant stream of married couple friends that she posts every week on her FB photos of her and her friends lounging on their pontoon and doing touristy things. She and her husband literally hosts friends at their place multiple times a month.
I mean, life happens. Why does that have to mean I'm a terrible friend because my finances fell through due to the loss of a summer contract job? She knows I'll have more income this fall. She texted, "It's just business" when I texted her to check in how she was doing after I told her I had to postpone my trip to FL.
I was like, "what does business mean," and she said it meant that my postponing my trip inconvenienced them so it's my fault that they are inconvenienced. That seems self righteous to me considering she texted me links to touristy things she told me I could do, but alone, since she'd be working with clients. So how would she be inconvenienced if she wasn't joining me on those activities? Feels manipulative to me. And from someone who counsels people for a living. What the hell is that?