Do you have any self-soothing activities (watch tv or movies, listen to podcasts, draw, go for a walk, take a bath, hum, meditate, do yoga, go for a run, take a shower, read a book, draw or paint or take photos,) that you could do to distract yourself through this episode of panic?

I am sorry to read that you are feeling stuck and hopeless. I have read a lot online about how different health conditions can mimic mental illness.

If you aren't borderline or bipolar, maybe you have mast cell activation or some type of immune system dysfunction brought on by low vitamins or minerals or something like that? Something that isn't a mental illness but a physical illness that mimics panic attacks, etc. There is more research that this is what's actually happening to some people who are misdiagnosed with a mental illness when that isn't what they actually have...

I can feel your frustration about what is happening to you. All I can offer is to try to do some self-soothing activities even if its only for 10 minutes.