you sound like you sort of know what you need to do, ie take PRN's, practice healthy coping, and I totally get that they're not as immediately pleasurable as drinking, using - I used to be there too. But honestly now that I've been sober long terrm, my life is way better, just no bs crisis and my mental health is better. I'd encourage you to talk to someone you trust on your treatment team to help you figure out how to take PRN's and maybe some help around the addictions.