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CANDC · Jun 26, 2023 at 11:45 AM

@ShylaA0404 - welcome to MSF. I am sorry you are having relationship issues. It must be rough on you.

The problem with infidelity besides the hygenics issue, it usually changes a relationship in some way great or small depending on the people. My own situation with someone suffering from bipolar depression and mania has required a great deal of patience and fortitude. Some people may say just leave but living separately is expensive and you still have feelings for each other, even if his ideas seeem to be unrealistic and he is playing the blame game rather than taking responsibility for his state of mind.

I am not qualified to give advice but I can tell you what I have done. I have redefined the relationship in my mind. I am not walling off that person, but I am no longer seeing them as the source of my happiness. It has not always been this easy. There was a lot of anger to work through because they resisted treatment and even had a loss of connection to reality.

So now I am in a relationship but it is more than 50% me taking care of them and they contribute very little. This is difficult but doable. If I had not revised my attitude toward the relationship, I probably would not be in it now. If I thought of getting something from them and being treated the way I wanted to, I would be very disappointed.

If anything, you may want to continue a relationship with a therapist to help ground you in reality in terms of your relationship and your children. I say you because your partner seems to be resisting treatment. This is not a good sign and spells trouble ahead unless they change their mind. Having your own safety net present can really help you deal with the unfolding situation and they can advise you as a professional how to respond to the changing saga you may encounter over the next few years. That professional advice could be more relevant to your particular situation than the opinions of peer support you may get here. I do not give advice because I do not know your situation the way a professional would but I hope what I have shared will help you proceed.

I am happy to correspond in private message (click on CANDC to the left of this message and send a private message) or in this forum. Please add @CANDC to your message so I get an alert to your response. @CANDC