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CANDC
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Location: Northeast USA New England
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Default Jun 26, 2023 at 06:36 PM
 
@ShylaA0404
I empathize with what you are going through. Your partner is not acting rationally. You sound like you are maintaining calm mind for the most part. Some of these suggestions may not be appropriate to your situation, but as a peer support person I have heard a lot of terrible outcomes when one partner has mental health issues.

sometimes the only thing that can be done for someone is to let them become a threat to themselves and end up IP In Patient until they get them on a regiment of meds that gets them stable. Otherwise they may end up there for an extended period. At first I felt like I did something wrong that they ended up IP, but after I got tired of all their stuff, it seemed like a vacation when they went IP.

You might want to make sure about financial stuff like put a credit freeze on the three credit agencies if you are in US so no one can open up credit in your name. You can lift the freeze if you need to and refreeze. Nowadays this is a wise precaution.

If you have joint credit cards and joint accounts you may want to take steps to set up your own credit card and bank account before doing the credit freeze. I have heard horror stories how one partner charged up the credit card to the max and drained the joint account and skipped town. Prevention is better than regret. Maybe the lawyer has other suggestions. Once you have credit setup you might talk to the lawyer or credit card company if you can take your name off that joint credit card and or lower the credit limit if you feel like they may charge up wildly or use the house as collateral to take out a loan.

Check how the house is listed in both names. If in his name only that could be a big disappointment to end marriage and then not have a house.

If you ever feel you or your kids are not safe, then you may want to involve emergency personnel. Being a threat to others is a reason to put someone IP, but there is no guarantee they can keep him IP. Often people get 72 hour observation and released if they do not have evidence that a person is a danger to themselves or others. This can create a lot of hard feelings so that is usually a last resort.

What works better is to get them to go to the Emergency Room and have them evaluate them.

I hope things never get this bad and you may have already thought of all these things, but I offer them after listening to people that had unfortunate situations. Hope you never have that.

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Thanks for this!
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