I know that I usually post positve things. I just dont feel them today. I am wondering after I do all this and go through all these painful emotions how do I know I will be better? Its just so hard and it feels bad. Sometimes I think I should just stay on meds and go through life unfeeling. I cant be on meds though. It hard doing this work. I can see the progress I have made but today I just feel bad. I have been having flashbacks alot today.I also feel this deep sadness and unconnected with anybody. I know on thursday in emdr I will be able to work on this I just feel alone. Im scared. What if this is how my life will always be?. I need something. I feel like I am disapearing.