SweetCrusader, my dad was abusive both verbally and physically when I was a child/teenager. At 16 we came to blows and I was "punished" for standing up to him. We didn't speak for 2 years. We've been on speaking terms for almost 8 years now and some is good, and some bad. He is a completely different man now... a wonderful person to look up to except that I just can't bring myself to do it just yet. That will come with time. He treats me like a child to this day sometimes. Maybe that's because he never really got to be my dad. My step dad raised me as his own and I think my dad is jealous of my feelings for my step dad. That could be part of the reason for all the phone calls. I whole heartedly agree that the little things can eat at you, but for me, the little things drudge up all the big things... like a nasty trigger. Maybe someday he and I will have that "ideal" relationship you spoke up and maybe not. I guess this is gonna take effort on both our parts, but I'm willing and he seems to be. Thanks for posting.

Ryan