I’ve never had an experience like this. The whole set up sounds off to me.

These were two instances where you met on social media and both women invited you to visit them (and their husbands), to be their house guest. You went/were going to go through great effort and expense to go to see them as a destination. There was nothing specific planned as an activity to do once you got there.

I know this is old fashioned but, a woman with a male partner (husband, bf) usually doesn’t invite a single woman to join them. I have known swingers who do. I have had brief times where I have been with a gf and her husband, where we just happened to be together and grabbed some lunch in a restaurant. I have invited a single gf to visit and have a meal with me and my husband. But, not an invitation to stay for more than one day.

The first woman seemed to act like she was doing you a favor, letting you stay at her house while she went about her day fighting with her mother on the phone. The second woman made it clear she would not be spending time with you, but then was put off at your canceling because she and her husband had rearranged their schedules to spend time with you. This doesn’t make sense at all.

Since you asked what you did wrong, I’d say there was not good communication. The plans were confusing. It’s good that you want to form friendships, and you went through a lot of effort and expense to try to nurture them. But these women live far away and their invitation was iffy.

Also, they were awful people due to how they became mean and angry. They were really rude. None of that was your fault at all.