I remember during my breakdown and for a prolonged period after that (I have psychotic depression), I could see beauty around me but I couldn't feel it. It was horrible. It took medication and time to stabilize and even out that eventually brought me back to being able to really feel something.

You said that you are trying to challenge the sense that something bad will happen to snuff out your happiness. Does that mean you're doing CBT?

I hope things get better for you and that you'll be able to enjoy the good things around you.