I appreciate both sides: the unexpected-ness and the hope.

I 'think' L's H will be a good dad. I know very little about him (my choice), but what I know about L, I'm sure she chose a good partner.

I try really hard to stay realistic, middle-ground. I try not to assume anything or try to predict, but they are still old habits I fall back on. It's hard when your past is screaming at you, and your fears of the future are as well!

I just have to trust L.

I did talk to her this morning. She explained more. Some of it felt like excuses at times, but I also know they were just facts. She apologized multiple times and told me that it's okay to be angry at her and not forgive her. She understands my side now. Like last time she took something precious away from me, it was because there wasn't clear conversations, just little drops of information.

I'm still upset.

AND I bought her a bola necklace for her pregnancy gift, and I bought yarn to make her a baby blanket. Now I must go re-learn how to crochet! It's been over a year since I last made a blanket.