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nonightowl · Jun 28, 2023 at 03:03 PM

I don't feel you did anything wrong.

I think the problem is THEM. They sound immature, more like teens than adults. People suck, and it wasn't until I viewed threads on this forum that I found out it's not just me. And I didn't know about "transactional" or "utility" so-called friendships until I read it on here.

I struggle with the same problem, thinking now that if I categorize people in my head, it will spare me SOME disappointment. I won't tell them because people can't or won't handle honest communication, even though it will benefit us both.

The word "friend" is way too trite and overused, online and in real life. And a "friend" means different things to different people, and there's the level of friendship such as distant or close. I've had people send me "friend" requests on Goodreads for example, then they don't respond if I send a message about a book we both read. Then what's the point of the request?

To collect "friends"? For their ego and to look good to other members?

Transactional friends are acquaintances to me, not friends.

Thanks for the article on the types or categories of friends.

In light of how flighty and unreliable people are, I'm hesitant to call anyone a "friend" until I've built up the trust in them that they are sincere. That takes time, and people can fool you too. There's nothing like a crisis to see who your real "friends" are. That old saying about through thick and thin is true, in my opinion. Fair weather friends are easy to find and make, but once things go down the tubes they abandon you. They aren't friends. Then when THEY have crap going on, they expect YOU to be there.

I've had real friends in the past but it's getting harder as I get older, to make them. And keep them. Sometimes I wonder if I'm made for friendships or not too.