I took two walks yesterday, a mile each. I felt better after my morning walk. My day was exceedingly boring yesterday as I did not feel capable of leaving the house to run errands. I started to feel down again after dinner so RS took me out for another walk. I told him to remind me in the winter if I’m depressed but don’t want to go to the gym because it’s cold that I said in the summer that exercise helps. He jokingly said he’d record me saying it so he could play it back lol.

Im depressed again today. I took CR to camp and now i’m in bed. It’s under the pretense that I have to charge my phone and only RS’s charger is working for me right now. Which is true. I had to order new ones.

Maybe I should do two weeks for my ECT treatments. I’d rather not as i don’t want to bother my grandma but I don’t want to make RS take off of work either. And what about the school year? I was told my attendance should improve but at the same time I feel if I have dr’s notes it shouldn’t count against me. I did take a lot of time off last year that wasn’t excused though. I left early quite a few times when I couldn’t handle it. That’s what I have to work on. And I suppose it would be better to take off once every two weeks than quit and drown in the winter again and have to take six weeks off or more.

I ate a calorie heavy, not exactly healthy breakfast. I have to remind myself that food isn’t going to make me feel better, I’ll just feel worse about myself. It’s ok to indulge but not binge. I’ll keep the rest of my day on track. I carved up a watermelon yesterday. I got it because it was on sale but now I have an entire giant bowl to consume. I figure I can freeze some though and put it in my smoothies with the frozen pineapple. That sounds good.

Sigh. It’s very nice out today so I think I’ll push myself to go for another walk. I dressed in comfortable clothes today so I don’t have to change. I assume the park trail is still muddy from the seven days of rain we got but maybe if I wait awhile it’ll dry out. I like that trail because it’s in the woods which keeps me out of the sun. Plus woods are very relaxing to me. I am not a beach girl, I am a mountain girl. I’m hoping to go to upstate New York in the Adirondacks for vacation next summer. I told my family I need a year off from planes so Florida is not an option! Plane travels stresses me out to the max.