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Originally Posted by moodyblue83
I'm going to insert my experience here although the situation is not exactly the same. From a man's point of view he is living in a sexless marriage ? Is that correct ? Is it also emotionally deficient on your part ? Do you have a physical connection ?
Do you still have a passion for him ? Or do you view sexual activity a chore. I. Know that my wife wouldn't care what I do on the outside as long as I leave her alone. She cannot have sex with me on any level due to physical reasons. Yet I think her blockage is psychological. Doesn't want therapy. I would do anything to meet her needs , but she won't do that for me. What am I supposed to do ? Luckily I don't have children to take care of. BTW : I suffer from severe chronic depression. I do my best to function normally but it is not easy. That's all I can say for now except , don't give up on him. He doesn't really want to go outside the marriage for sex , it seems he has no choice. It's a need that has to be fulfilled.
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This is not the case in my situation. Even very recently we are having sex and usually several times a week. We've never had a "sexless" marriage. The closest we came to that was a period several years ago when I was pregnant and went several months but since that time we have definitely had routine sex, especially as I learned through our marriage counseling several years ago how important it was to him.
I think we have a physical connection, I don't view sex with him as a chore or anything. The problem is that he (or his depression) doesn't believe me. So, he tells me we are not sexually compatible because I don't want sex as much or often as him, even if we are having it as often as he wants to, it is not going to cut it for him right now.
I am more in your position in my marriage as I have told him I want to work on this with him, but he thinks this "sexual connection" that will cure his depression is something that just has to "be", it can't be worked on together so he wants to give up and move on.