Visited my senile ant yesterday. Felt upset and sad afterward. Today I feel out of energy, have had little appetite, pressed down some food. Have had a lot of sad memories in my head. May be we must allow ourselves to look into sad memories from time to time? May be it's not laziness, but some form of "necessary" inside work that has to be done? I don't know, but I hope to be able to go on with my life from tomorrow morning.