Thank you for your answer, but what I meant was that perhaps it is so that we have our days when we are so overwhelmed that we don't remember to use our tools. I meant that we shall not beat ourselves up if we have happened to have a backlash. We became so stressed out that it has become too much. It was not only the visit at the house for people with Dementia that stressed me out, but that I pressed myself to visit my ant when I was already was tired. I have pain in my muscles and had that before I visited her. I called my mother afterward and she rejected all the solutions I had to offer (I mean we cannot make my ant well again, but we need to support each other after visits at the "Dementia House").

One of my other ants do not understand how sick the demented ant is and make all of us others feeling sick about the split around accepting or not accepting that things are as they are with my demented ant. I do understand that my mother is tired as well, but when she answerers me that everything is tried (to not fight over this topic), I got a lot of old memories triggered. Because this is how I have felt the last 50 years; that I am never taken seriously by my mother. We don't have a tradition for listening or to disagree respectfully (if that is the case) in my family ...

It was the feeling of floating alone in my own boat without being noticed by others that became too much to me (I always try to discuss in logical ways when I try to discuss something).

Sometimes that happens that we experience backlash (I mean all of us) and then we are unable to do something about it because it is clinging to us like syrup. What I meant was that we cannot to go on before we have noticed that we sit in the syrup. When we are able to notice that so it is, then and only then we can start to use our helpful psychological tools again. Perhaps that was what you meant @Soupe du jour?

Because of pain in my muscles all over my body and an inflammation in one of my shoulders, I felt almost as if I was embraced by depression this morning. It is a little bit better now because the sun has started to shine. Sunshine helps one to relax and then to think. When thinking is freed, we are able to rethink how to solve for ourselves the problems we are facing.