Dear T,
I do appreciate your response, particularly that you acknowledged the shame and self-loathing I've been feeling throughout this (without my mentioning it in the email).

I'm glad I sent the second one with the middle-of-the-night insight. Maybe treating this like grieving will help? I didn't want to include all this in the email, but thinking of the stages of grief, maybe I'd been in a sort of bargaining stage there, with trying to get you to say what you accepted fully. Perhaps yesterday was me shifting into the depression stage? I know, it's not necessarily linear and can go back and forth. But it still might help to frame it that way.

I guess the question is, can I get to acceptance (or at least some level of it), and how long will it take? And will the relationship survive that? Not so much your getting rid of me, but my opting to talk away in frustration and/or pain.

Love,
LT

ETA: Hm, reading about this, apparently statements like "I wish I could go back in time and just say 'I appreciate you' instead" is an example of bargaining. So I think I was/am in that stage.