I’ve thought about it, and I have come to the conclusion that deep down, I don’t think I want to lose weight. Why? I’m expected to want to lose weight because I’m a fat person. I probably should because I’m prediabetic. But for some reason, my heart’s not in it. Why? I feel like this makes me a substandard person in some way, and then I feel angry because it shouldn’t. It’s not for lack of trying… I have tried every diet out there. I’ve starved myself. I’ve used substances. I’ve exercised with sprained ankles. I did personal training and gained weight instead of lost it, which was very discouraging. This doesn’t mean I’m stuffing my face or anything. I just feel very confused and frustrated. I don’t know why I don’t want to do this. Should I want to??? Am I a bad person? I don’t know. And I don’t like not knowing.