I am beginning to have thoughts of taking my own life, to the extent that if they get much worse I may have to seek emergency medical attention. Everything has been going very poorly; I cannot write anymore, and I don't derive any happiness from the sole source of happiness in my life anymore either. I have no hope of finding employment better than the soul-crushing job I absolutely hate. Rents are reaching such an extreme in my hometown that I am stuck in my current housing, which is awful. I feel like I can't live here, like this, anymore, but neither can I seek out anything better, because there is nothing better for someone of my income and general station in life. I have been single for so long that I don't even believe I have the capacity to love another person again. It is no longer possible to see even the slimmest hope of a better life.