Yikes.... he crossed your boundaries in the shower and on the bed. He was aware of your trauma yet entered the shower regardless - boundary crossing. He sensed that you didn't want the sex, and knew you didn't want the tickling, yet he went ahead anyways. That's crossing boundaries in all sorts of ways and is domineering/controlling/borderline abusive behavior. He also put his hand over your throat, while telling you he loves you? That's male dominance... his words about being the man indicate that he wanted to dominate and intimidate you because he's "stronger" and can bend you to his will.

This man is scary to me. You were right to break up with him. Something is very wrong with this man and this whole picture. It likely would have become a lot worse with him over time, especially if you had moved in with him.

Do you have a therapist? I would talk this over with a professional. To me, it's like borderline date rape and abuse. I am very sorry this happened to you.