finally let go of my guilt after 18 years and began reconnecting with old friends and making new ones. even began listening to music again too and that's been absolutely wonderful. no words. it's great to finally have a social life again but yet for some reason i don't feel happy sometimes. i know my friends care about me but they don't really know what i have gone through. i haven't shared my pain because i don't think anyone would be interested. i don't even know how to bring it up. some friends talk about themselves a lot and i feel emotionally drained after spending time with them. i guess i just want to be understood. i have let go of a friend that my gut told me was not worth keeping. the one good thing to come out of being depressed for so long is that i reach out to people more now because one never knows what someone is going through.