I'm sorry you are feeling poorly. Seemingly endless loops of obsessive thoughts can be so draining and frustrating. They also weigh heavily on one's self esteem.

Getting counseling is not a sign of being a bad person. Lots and lots of people could benefit from counseling.

As people advance through school for years and years, they grow in the knowledge of mathematics, history and such. But psychology is usually not taught in schools.

That is a sad really because the field of psychology has lots of important insights and wisdom and techniques for dealing with emotional upset. I would think of seeing a counselor as similar to taking a class. There is no shame in it.

Every day I see all kinds of people who I think would benefit from counseling because they don't know how to have a reliable source of peace and joy of living.

Obsessive thoughts that keep cycling is something I am familiar with from my own personal experience.

I was helped enormously by something called cognitive behavior therapy which is a little bit different from other forms of counseling in that it is aimed at teaching one how to be one's own therapist and counselor.

It is normal to seek professionals when building a house...architects, engineers, plumbers, electricians, carpenters and so on.

It is normal to seek legal advice when one has legal problems or medical advice when one has health concerns. There is no shame in any of it. It is actually very wise behavior.

You are a very good person and you deserve help when you need it.