I’m definitely going, rereading it now I wasn’t clear about the internal debate I was having about going to crisis immediate care or waiting to go to intake tomorrow for outpatient care. I came pretty close to going today to the crisis center but I just really didn’t want to have to stay there.

Panic attacks totally peaked today this evening. Just random outbursts again and again and again all day culminating into the worst feelings. My boyfriend helped calm me down a lot. Actually kinda riled me up a little at first lol, not his fault he thought what he said was helpful, but it made me mad, but we talked a lot out. He’s been here for me this entire time and he’s the first person who really tries to understand me and he’s good at helping me get out of the funk. I feel bad because he’s had to see me like this all week and I know it’s hurting him I could see it today he wanted to cry when I was crying but we talked about that too and we’re just gonna keep talking about it. I’m ok now. I’m here quietly at home for the night, gonna sleep a bit, get some hygiene going lol and in the morning I’m gonna go. I’m kinda scared though.