She told me this, "Remember when i had surgery and you carried me to the barhroom and back to bed and cleaned my surgical drains? Well, I've never forgotten that..."

So, i suppose i at least left some good memories???

But for me, I've had to realize something.

I must accept that my behavior was a "deal breaker" early in this relationship, but subsequently, her constantly telling me that i have to accept her non-negotiable demands was a always a requirement. No matter how much her words hurt (she is very blunt) or how unreasonable i felt she was being, i had no choice but to accept it, and she would tell me this without hesitation.

When we first met, the first two years were the best two years of my entire life. She and i both agree on this point. But neither of us had any responsibility except to each other.

She also told me yesterday "you are the best husband i ever had. You always worked, were not lazy and never hit me."

But, after the first two years, we started facing huge life challenges. I dove into my work to try and make the money we needed (my share, as she always worked too) but i wasn't able to adequately juggle being a husband and working too.

She felt alone, i felt like i had to work longer and harder and we simply lost each other along the way.

Back then, and under all that pressure, i got upset about simple things, like replacing a ceiling fan or mowing the yard. I complained a lot about my struggles at work, needing her to be my "sounding board," but not realizing that she was taking this as a negative energy event.

In summary, when i desperately needed to tell her about my bad day, the negative energy from her listening was killing her.

It was a no-win situation.