Things i have learned from this:

Never compromise your feelings and beliefs for anyone else, no matter how much they tell you that you owe it to them.

If they hate or feel threatened by something you love, walk away from them.

When a relationship becomes a one-way street, or a "my way or the highway" affair, walk away.

If someone is not wildly attracted to you, keep them in your life as a friend, but don't get romantically involved with someone who may only see you as friendship material. (I've done it)

Dating or marrying people with drastically different ethnic and educational backgrounds/beliefs is a receipe for disaster.

Ive now done this twice

Be honest with YOU. So many times, i changed what i wanted to better fit my partner's goals/desires. I only cheated myself.

Beware of Hypergamy. Never reveal exactly what you do when you first meet someone. I work for a law firm, but im also a musician. I never tell anyone i am anything other than a musician, male or female - instant filter.

Never remain silent when something eats at you or doesn't feel right. I spent 8 years feeling like this and its not worth it, no matter if the girl is perfect in appearance.

If you can't find a woman who checks ALL the boxes, don't settle. Just stay single. I know so many people who seem to feel obligated to marry, so they find the best average.

My wife was, to me, a perfect 10. I couldn't find fault with her physically. Emotionally, we didn't match up and we just had very profound differences that made our life a challenge.

Be honest with yourself about what you need.

Don't wait to go to counseling