In post # 45 you seemed to have finally learned a lot !
( Btw : when I refer to " women " here I say it in general OR personal terms. )
NEVER give yourself up totally to anyone. You stopped growing a long time ago because all you cared about was her.
There's a lot I'd like to say but I just want to mention the main points that stand out to me , ( based on personal experience).
1. Women will cut you off from sex usually because they found someone else more interesting , OR , they go thru hormonal changes after a certain age and/or physical changes due to surgeries etc..
( btw: If you lost certain hormones , you , even as a man , wouldn't give 2 sh*** about sex. )
Women tend to think of men as "children" as they feel they have to be your " mommy " as well as your wife in certain circumstances.
NEVER trust a woman to take care of YOUR finances as you'll wind up paying for your own divorce.
Once she doesn't need your " protection " anymore or becomes financially independent you are disposable.
There's just one more thing I want to say , for now , and that is I get the feeling that you care too much about " the other person ".
In turn , neglecting your own personal growth.