Quote:
Originally Posted by Samicat
So,
How do I get my brother to value himself, and not just his son (yes his son is an only child). To do things that HE enjoys, to eat healthy food for HIS sake. I think it's great that he and his wife are such good parents but it saddens me that my brother has totally poured everything into his son's happiness and nothing into his own. If I gave him a gift certificate for his birthday, he would hand it to his son. If I gave him and his wife a gift card for their anniversary for a restaurant, they would let their son pick the restaurant and take him out.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with putting your child first, but if you live your life ONLY for your child, that is pathological.
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Hi Samicat. Unfortunately we usually can't "get" someone to make a change. They must choose such changes on their own. It's a shame when it takes something majorly bad to force such changes (a bottom). I guess we'd think that cancer would do that, though.
I'm not sure if you're willing to do this, or if your brother would be receptive to it, but maybe next time you see him alone (without wife or son), you can put your arm around him and tell him you love him and ask him to be kinder to himself. That he's deserving of things for himself. Most of us believe there's only one life to live. You're right that we don't want too many regrets at the very end.
Who knows, maybe in the near future he'll have the so-called "mid-life crisis", and make a little elated manic-like change. Could shock the misses, but that would be OK.
