Sorry it's so long.

I was happy that my sister and I exchanged emails again. For some days we didn't. What I discovered, though, was a day after we "stopped talking", an email from her came in, but went to my spam folder. I discovered it just yesterday. What was odd was that it was from a different email address. One that appeared newly created. In the email, she wrote in a different voice and explained a couple things. After I responded yesterday, in a loving way that acknowledged understanding, she responded in kind and told me to only use the new email address. The reality that I had already suspected was that her husband was reading her emails and our WhatsApp texts. Whenever we talk by phone or video call, he is always sitting near listening in, and commenting so I can hear. I also believe he always made her put me on speaker phone. He has always been verbally and psychologically abusive, even before they were married. Early on, when I was only 13 years old, I witnessed it many times. I would yell at him, but the sucker made fun of me, as people do teenagers. My sister would beg me "not to say anything" when he did. I refused back then, but it was all to no avail. My parents said nothing, to my knowledge. Over time, I also just said nothing. He was rarely even seen, never coming to holiday dinners. We were rarely invited to their house, which has become a hoarding house. He verbally abused my nephews, too. I believe that exacerbated my youngest nephew's mental illness and played some part in his death, by suicide. The abuse continues. He controls her, isolates her, monitors what she does and says. She is the executrix of my father's will. He is controlling what she does with that, as well. My sister has been forced to keep secrets from me. Some of her communications in the past were "in his voice". In her recent email, she mentioned that there is "control" over here. She's mentioned that he rants about the inheritance 24/7 and what she should and shouldn't do, and how horrible my husband and I are. When I suggested things, he forced her to do the opposite for the sake of doing so, and to keep secrets from me.

The above is some of what I've been dealing with since our father and brother passed away. It's also why I finally got a therapist again. When I expressed anger about this she didn't so much deny it as she tried to defend herself by a "poor me" rant. I confess that I didn't respond with "poor you". After all, she's an adult (older than me) and it doesn't make me accept that type of behavior towards me. In any case, I think she and I are at peace now. Especially since she finally admitted what I already knew to be true. Our now more secretive communications in the future will hopefully help. We should NOT let her monster husband ruin our relationship. She and I are the only close blood relatives left. Everyone else is gone. Our two remaining blood uncles are not in the picture and hostile, in ways.