Hello! I am not doing so well as I hoped. The end of week one was not good, and week two has started at the same way as week one ended.

I desperately need somebody to talk too, so that is why I am into "the Check -In" thread now.

The program I am using is generally based on being in the now and to try to shift focus when thoughts drift (and they do a lot). I think I have already told that I also try to do relaxation exercises, physical exercises, try to eat healthy, try to have a social life and so on and in general try to find a balance between rest and work activities

Well, I find myself sitting here staring into a wall as if I am some sort of unmovable statue. My memory is troubled and I feel that nothing helps. I call myself a fool and that is not good. To call oneself "a fool" is like a feeding tube for depression in general.

I hope you will not overlook my post because nothing big and scary has happened! To be in the start of a mental training program can be scary enough. It is hard to do so.

It does not help to make a six week plan if I don't follow it. For the most part it is drifting thoughts or failing to eat that disturbs the process. I try the best I can, but have failed for some days now and feel desperate.

You can say that why does it have to be six weeks, can't it be seven or five? The reason I count six weeks is that that is what I have experienced earlier, that repetition of the combinations of tools I know work for me takes six weeks to settle down; to become a daily habit that guides me through my days and helps me to become almost "depression-free". Less then six weeks will not strengthen the bonds that need to be strengthened in my brain, but of course I can put on an extra week if I feel the need for it. May be I'll do that in the end, but now I need to work against depression from where I am now ...

I decided to come here and talk and at the same time I decided what to do for the rest of the day: Repeating tools, do relaxation exercises, do work in the home, go for a walk, make dinner and rest. The evening is free to see a movie or read if my concentration span can take it.

I think we all can earn some health if we come here to get support at using our unique tools.

Thank you for reading!

I send good wishes for the health of everyone here!