Quote:
Originally Posted by Rosi700
Hello!  I am not doing so well as I hoped. The end of week one was not good, and week two has started at the same way as week one ended.
I desperately need somebody to talk too, so that is why I am into "the Check -In" thread now.
The program I am using is generally based on being in the now and to try to shift focus when thoughts drift (and they do a lot). I think I have already told that I also try to do relaxation exercises, physical exercises, try to eat healthy, try to have a social life and so on and in general try to find a balance between rest and work activities
Well, I find myself sitting here staring into a wall as if I am some sort of unmovable statue. My memory is troubled and I feel that nothing helps. I call myself a fool and that is not good. To call oneself "a fool" is like a feeding tube for depression in general.
I hope you will not overlook my post because nothing big and scary has happened! To be in the start of a mental training program can be scary enough. It is hard to do so.
It does not help to make a six week plan if I don't follow it. For the most part it is drifting thoughts or failing to eat that disturbs the process. I try the best I can, but have failed for some days now and feel desperate.
You can say that why does it have to be six weeks, can't it be seven or five? The reason I count six weeks is that that is what I have experienced earlier, that repetition of the combinations of tools I know work for me takes six weeks to settle down; to become a daily habit that guides me through my days and helps me to become almost "depression-free". Less then six weeks will not strengthen the bonds that need to be strengthened in my brain, but of course I can put on an extra week if I feel the need for it. May be I'll do that in the end, but now I need to work against depression from where I am now ...
I decided to come here and talk and at the same time I decided what to do for the rest of the day: Repeating tools, do relaxation exercises, do work in the home, go for a walk, make dinner and rest. The evening is free to see a movie or read if my concentration span can take it.
I think we all can earn some health if we come here to get support at using our unique tools.
Thank you for reading!
I send good wishes for the health of everyone here! 
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Hi Rosi. First off, thanks for your kind response to my thread, and good wishes to you, as well.
The program you describe sounds very good. I like how it includes an emphasis on what I believe is "mindfulness" in CBT/DBT. Your ideas for activities are good ones for that. I find when I need to focus my "world" on positives, nature helps about the best. I love birds and gardening. Observing in all ways (visual, auditory, and in some cases touch) is soothing for me. Seeing new things is also good. I also enjoy cooking. It particularly focuses my attention. They both provide a bit of exercise. I haven't been up to doing intense exercise, but for now that's OK. I hope you won't be hard on yourself if you achieve only some of what you plan.
I try to live "in the moment" as much as possible. Also part of mindfulness.
You are not a fool, Rosi. That's called "labeling" in CBT. You have some many positive attributes that I've observed even here on a forum. Please remind yourself of those many things. In addition, I think it's been helpful for me to simply be "an observer" in the world. I'm a person who absorbs the beauty of certain sounds (music, bird song, clothes washer swishing, breezes), is rewarded by the sight of trees. It's fine to just "be". Or as I walk down a road, my presence plays a part in the song of the world. Do you know what I mean?