Ok, please know that these are my thoughts and they aren't intended to harm anyone. What I'm going to say could be perceived as disrespectful but if you have a moment to read the entire post, you'll see that I was just working through some of my own issues. This post details a whole process. Thanks for letting me share.

So, I found the site and I started reading. Initially, I was incredibly freaked out by the transference issues going on here in black and white. I work in the field and it made me examine some of my own professional relationships with clients as well as my previous relationships with my therapists. I found it impossible to imagine a world where I would become so attached to someone in the therapist's role.

So, here I am 3 weeks in and I've realized... I've experienced transference issues exactly like what I've read on the board. More troubling, it was never with a therapist. I have elevated various guys to the "T" position, used them as such, gotten overly attached, professed my feelings, then, cut all ties. I've done this at least a half dozen times over the last 11 years.

Wow, I'm glad I figured that out but what the heck do I do with that information now?

I've treated my therapists as things to be kept at a distance and entertained with a false effort and I've dumped the whole lot of my issues onto the lap of innocent males. I'm trying to make a list, figure out their similarities, how things went down. I think I always knew that the affection I felt wasn't "love" love... but more of an exaggerated response to intimacy. I always cut those ties within a few months of starting to feel those warm-fuzzies.

This is heavy stuff. Thank you guys for being brave enough to share what you've went through (and are going through) because I don't think I would have EVER made the connection if I hadn't gone through the process of evaluating my own role as a client. It is something I've never done before... For the first time, I can admit that I looked @ C (last guy I used and ditched) as an unofficial therapist. That was SO unfair to those guys. That was so unhealthy for me. Ugh.

I'm even starting to wonder if that's why I'm single @ 29. Is it because I'm looking for a man to sit in a corner, listen, offer some positive feedback, and never progress beyond that exchange of ideas?

Thanks for letting me share this... the words are hard to come by these days. For whatever reasons, I've slipped into a place that I haven't been in for at least 12 years and it's scary. Hope you are well.