I can relate so much to your comparison of physical pain to emotional pain. Mine have coexisted for a long, long time.

First, as a result of pretty severe physical abuse (broken bones, blood, etc) coupled w/severe emotional abuse (verbal, manipulation, isolating me from everyone, etc). Then, with the emotional continuing, I began to experience symptoms of an autoimmune disease by my mid-teens.

I have all the same questions you have... about both kinds of my pain. There are some physicians who don't believe in lupus and they are verbal about it. There are therapists who don't believe in it.

I had a therapist (20 years of experience) tell me that support groups for lupus were a waste of my time b/c of course those people were having problems, everyone who was successful wasn't wasting their time in support groups. She told me that I was making my lupus worse by being around those people. (keep in mind she is primarily an SA counselor and she demands all of her SA clients attend groups... so whatever that double standard is all about, I don't know)

Anyway, I don't have any answers to your questions, I just wanted to write to say that I have a lot of the same feelings every single day. In my heart, I know all of my pain is real and with legitimate cause and I'm not so much searching for the root of it... as searching for a way to respond to it that doesn't leave me in more pain. It's sad though, b/c some people in society make me feel like I just need to suck it up and get on with it... and then, I start to feel that way myself... looking @ the victims of the China earthquakes, the recent flooding here, or just the daily lives of people struggling in 3rd world countries.

So, yeah, I guess thanks for just letting me process my crud in your thread... and thanks for putting it down in words that I'd have trouble stringing together. Hope you are well.