I'm 52 now. I don't think I've ever been scared of aging, but am certainly amazed how years seem to fly by faster, the older I get. So far, I don't think I "look" that old, other than having some gray hair that needs covering with dye, and one solitary deepening vertical wrinkle between my eyebrows, which I hide with bangs. As for feeling old, I do have less energy than in my youth, but am fortunately otherwise fine. I'm a little chunky, but there was a time when I was chunkier at age 39. I lost a lot of weight after that, and only slowly "inched" upwards over the years.

What is truly horrible, in my view, is gradually losing loved ones. All of my grandparents, my god mother, my mother and father, a beloved nephew, my brother, and all but two estranged blood uncles are gone. My husband's parents and grandparents are also no longer with us. There is a fear of the future losses. That's the sad reality in life! A fear one rarely thinks about in early youth. As my husband is nearly 13 years older, he may pass before me in the future. But you never know. I can see that as the biggest trauma. For that reason, I occasionally try to visualize/plan what I would do to ensure my safety, and a positive continuance. That's a dreadful assignment, but I think a helpful one. I'm generally a realistic type, with my feet firmly on the ground.