I like your plan. It sounds really solid.

I have had the same experience with assisted living facilities that you are expressing now. It's odd how they have transitioned since I was a child. Once upon a time, they were for the elderly. The severely disabled lived in state run facilities. The functioning disabled lived in the community. All was well...

Now, however, it seems that Assisted Living is a mix of all of the above... anyone with enough benefits to cover the monthly rate. There are some GREAT communities... but a lot are underfunded, understaffed, and are totally unable to focus on a cohesive community because of the varied needs of their clients.

If you have another safe place to stay, I'd jump at it... if something goes wrong, you can always go to another assisted living facility until your apartment is ready. none of these decisions are forever and I think that you are right in noticing that the asst living people taking away your ability to take responsibility for your own decisions is a bad sign.

Good luck @ your meeting tomorrow. Fingers crossed you move up on the list more quickly than you expected for housing!