Quote:
Originally Posted by nonightowl
I can relate to most of what you said, the whole new life thing. But I wanted to say it's valid to feel scared by it.  The unknown is scary to us; it's wired into our DNA.
I too have not problem attracting toxic types of people.  I don't need them anymore either, nor to be ghosted again and again. It's happened to me on this site, on other sites, in real life. Sigh...
I hate how your mom said "should". I hate that word anyway, it has such negative connotations, like there's something wrong with you if it isn't "exciting" as it "should" be. Does she even know or understand what you went through? If anything like mine was, emotionally distant, then she'd have no clue. No awareness at all.
Like you I need a whole new life too. I'd like to get out of my place but don't know where to do. As far as quality people, it's getting harder to find them the older I get. I'm also worn out, emotionally and mentally. It's risky with new people because you don't know what you're getting. And right now I can't take any more shallow people.
Change scares the $hit out of me too. And with all the chaos and changes in this country/world, one needs stability or routine where one can get it. I guess what I do is start with small steps, one step at a time. But I'm not good at following my own thoughts of that.
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Thanks for your post!
And I know what you mean about mom's saying "you should". My mother is a bit clueless. She is getting more educated on narcissism because she has had to deal with a few in her own life, but she is still clueless about abuse. She still believes that my ex husband is "not a bad person", when I think he is in fact, demonic and evil. There is something very evil about the way he operates in such a deliberate, hurtful manner. His intentions ARE to hurt me, to have power over me and to control me. That is NOT a good person - it's the opposite. So, yeah, while he may SHOW a nice side, it's all a facade and I know this now.
Taking small manageable steps is a good idea. The notion of an entire life overhaul is overwhelming. I also can relate when you say it's getting harder to meet quality people the older you get. I am running into the same issue.
Ghosting someone is an act of cruelty, in my mind, unless you're ghosting someone who has crossed lines and the boundaries of respect. Or if you have to ghost someone who has been abusive. But otherwise, I think it's cruel. Sorry you had to experience that - I have too, and it always hurts.
I hope we can both find constructive ways to move forward, to put aside our fears and to step into the unknown. It takes courage. So, here's to mustering up our courage!!!
