I first got sick when I was 13/14... I don't really know because I didn't grow up in a home that allowed me to be sick. I just remember that's when the rashes started and not being able to pull stiff fingers out of my pockets. By the time I was 18, my knee was collapsing, I had scarring rashes, and fatigue that laid me out for a month. 19... pneumonia, pleurisy, and extreme fatigue... etc, etc, etc...

I'm 29, now, and have had a hard fight to find people who want to accept/understand my lupus. One thing that triggers me terribly is to have someone say something like, "you are always sick" or "you are always tired"... I just want to kick them in the arse. My sister is one of those people... and new friends always are those people.

I get why my sister can't accept it... our parents are disabled and they were always sick with either physical or psychological illness growing up. It still hurts but I don't press her to accept it and generally don't bother her with the various icky parts of being sick.

New people are hard to handle. Those I consider close friends, I usually try and explain the situation... almost everyone has been so kind and responsive and made me feel validated and encouraged. One, last year, she made some snarky comments and it is still bothering me. I considered her a great friend, confided in her, spent lots of time with her, and found out she was talking about it with my roommate w/nothing short of immature gossip-status. I skipped her wedding and have a hard time seeing her now... a year later.

I guess this is long, I'm just trying to reconnect with the reality of my life and I'm using this board as a way to articulate all the things I've buried over the last few months.

I am 29, I have 2 autoimmune diseases and 4 additional chronic illnesses. I consider myself in GREAT health all things considered though I do have some acute flare up stuff going on in this moment. I feel like I have flu at least 300 days of the year and probably 30 days of the year, I feel like I've been stomped by a dinosaur, eaten by a teryadactyl and then pooped out, stomped, buried 10 billion years, and burned as fossil fuel. Those are rough 30 days...

Thanks for letting me vent.