First, I cannot leave. In 7 years I will get a solid pension and I need to stick it out for 7 years. But I am so miserable.

The basic problem is too much work and poor management. And it never ever changes no matter how much we complain.

My boss has been urging me to take a long vacation for a long time. I had grave concerns about doing so but decided to give it a try. It did not work out. All the things i feared happened. First, my job just cannot stop and he refuses to stop it. So I have to get coverage. Beyond the fact that getting coverage was a nightmare and still is... which irritates the crud out of me and takes up so much time.... everyone who "covered" for me just kicked the work down the road. As usual. So now, when I return, I have two weeks worth of work, just everyone will want it done right now because they have been waiting two weeks.

I have "customers" who can be abusive and I am the spokesperson but other people control when the work gets done. So in a sense... they force me to deal with abuse... and I am about to blow my top.

Finally, after the pandemic my physical body just can't take going into work. I mean literally. I don't know what happened, but after about 3 days I can hardly stand. This is making me panic about going back. I have joined a gym to try to get my strength up but more and more I am starting to think it is just because commuting into work is so miserable and legit takes a ton of energy. My fit bit has me at 8K steps on the days I go in. 2K on the days I am home.

Going forward I am going to cancel much of my vacation time. It just isn't worth the hassle to get coverage and I end up far more miserable on the days I return after a "break". Because I can't get the work done and I am forever missing things. Because I am scheduled to do things at 10 am on the day I return and it takes about 4 hours to even read my emails.

I have been there 20 years and it just never changes. No one will get us help... everyone is always demanding that we do things right now. No one plans ahead...

I swear it feels like prison, but prison would be less stressful.