My life now... It's been really hard being so alone for the last six months while I've been unemployed and newly single. I've spent most days and nights alone. Sometimes, or often, I've crawled into bed at 6 pm for the night. I did last night.

Once I am working again next week, my time will be filled with work. I am looking forward to this change. I am nervous and a little scared, but I am mostly looking forward to no longer having hours upon hours of empty space to fill.

My ex husband STIL:L has not replied to my last emails. I believe that he's trying to punish me by giving me the silent treatment, which he has done many times in the past whenever I've confronted him about his poor behaviors and whenever I haven't backed down or given into his manipulations. He didn't win this time - I've won. He can no longer manipulate me or have any power or control over me. And he realizes this reality, I do believe. I am NOW FREE.

And, on top of it, I am now empowered to be making my own money again. I can sustain and support myself fully without my ex's help, and I can afford my home and all my expenses. I believe that my ex wanted me to continue needing him for support while I've been unemployed, and now I do not. HA. Take that! I believe that's also why he isn't replying - he is angry that I am succeeding, that I have succeeded, and that I am empowered again and don't need him whatsoever. This is how abusive narcs operate. I've educated myself enough on narcs and narc abuse to know this to be a factual truth about them and how they operate in their twisted, evil f'ed up minds.

In my last email to him, I told him that I am actually laughing at his pathetic head games (ie, by not replying to me and blocking my cell). And that's all it is - a pathetic game of power and control, as ALL abuse is always about power and control over the other person.

So, IF he does eventually reply or contact me, I am NOT responding this time. I've GOT TO END THIS ridiculous TOXIC GAME. The only way to win with a narcissist is to NOT PLAY their games.

And, I am sure that he wants me to be hurt by his lack of response to me and by blocking me and ignoring my last messages to him. But, I am not hurt. I am more so amused, and that tells me I am further along in my healing process. A few months back, I may have been hurt and really bothered by this, but now I don't feel that way. It's entertaining to me, because it's only just a game he's playing, I see that he's deliberately TRYING TO HURT ME by doing this, and it's SO pathetic and insanely immature.