I've done truly shameful things under the effect of mania, and psychosis has even pushed the situation a little bit further. There's nothing I could have done against it, it's like a ripe fruit falling from a tree, it will hit the ground. I take comfort knowing that people with some degree of empathy will understand. Yes, I've avoided some places, but you me and most people on this site have a personal struggle going on and those who are not fully aware of it shouldn't become an extra obstacle for us. Stay strong.