So, last night, my wife told me she wanted to plant a lavender bush outside the front door. Our topography is lots of rock, so i knew, that to do this, meant driving a star drill through pieces of solid rock and pull out the pieces, all the while avoiding the fiber optic cable and the sprinkler pipes.

I told her, "let's do it tomorrow night." (My usual answer to household chores)

It was 100°F when i got home tonight at 6pm. My wife asked if i was hungry and i ssid, "Not yet. I need to dig this hole."

I've procrastinated a lot in my past and i decided to do the opposite. With a hammer and a star drill, i started breaking up the rocks. The sweat was dripping off my face, but i broke through and made a 8 inch hole, 12 inches deep into which the bush fit perfectly.

My wife asked me, "why did you do this right away?" "You always put things off, then forget about them."

I said, "I'm keeping my word and I'm training myself to be the perfect husband for a wife someday. I won't have to ask her out, or pursue her. She'll notice me and she'll see my value, whomever and wherever she might be, but it all starts with a better version of me..."

Then, i watered the plant, put the tools away and im having a glass of ginger ale before taking a shower.

Here's my toughts right now.

I'm flawed, but I'm willing.

I'm broken, but I'm worthy of love.

I'm nothing that anyone wants....right now.

But, in time, the right woman will see my heart, she'll read my poetry, she'll see me as someone she can feel safe with.

I will rise above this, and im not waiting another minute to drown in my sorrow.

I'll rebuild the empire of my soul and my queen will come to me.