Here's the story.

The bartender (Amy) of a music venue that I frequent got fired and banned from the venue. I don't know every single detail, but her ex boyfriend, the lighting guy, asked management to fire her after he learned that she was dating someone new. There's more to the story here as to why she was also BANNED, but I will spare you those details since they're not really that important.

According to Amy, her ex bf is an abusive narcissist, who abused her verbally, emotionally, and even physically.

The other day, I ran into a woman, Leslie, who goes to this music venue. We started to talk about the above issue that occurred. I started to tell Leslie's friend that I support Amy and believe her when she says she was abused. Leslie chimes in, and starts talking total trash about the bartender, saying she's psychotic and has Borderline Personality Disorder and is so nuts that she's caused this whole problem. She went on and on and on about how crazy and unstable Amy is.

In defense of Amy and in support of her, I messaged her to tell her what was being spread around about her. At first I didn't say WHO had said it, but Amy pressed me for this info so I revealed it to her. Amy then immediately messaged Leslie to confront her about what she said.

The next day, Leslie wrote me a nasty note:

"I have no idea why you ran back to Amy and told her what I said. I was trying to look out for you so you understood there were two sides to that story. Really disappointed after laurel and I welcomed you to our spot. You can stay right away from me."

So, I replied, telling her that Amy has never been diagnosed with a personality disorder (truth), that she was abused, to get her facts straight, and to leave me alone. Then I blocked her.

Given that Amy kind of threw me under the bus, I should have probably kept my mouth shut instead of telling Amy what Leslie said about her. However, I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought I was doing right by Amy. I would want to know if someone was talking trash about me, and that's where I was coming from. I also defend and support Amy in her plight in this situation, and I felt Leslie was out of line by spreading dirt and false rumors about her. I have never witnessed Amy being unstable or crazy, either, and I've known Amy for about a year.

So, now Leslie is pissed at me and likely will talk trash about ME now to everyone I know in this community.

I've heard from another friend, Angela, that Leslie has caused issues with more than one woman.

And, my prior experiences with Leslie over the years have been very negative.

I met Leslie when I was married to my husband. He and I met her together, and she immediately gravitated towards HIM and behaved as though I was invisible every time we ran into her. She would blatantly ignore me, and would direct ALL her attention, conversation and eyes at my husband. I didn't even exist in her mind! Then, when I would run into Leslie on my own, she would always ask me where my husband was! I concluded that she was flirting with my husband right in front of me, and that she's one of THOSE women who tries to steal another woman's man.

So, I never liked Leslie to begin with. She only started to acknowledge my presence AFTER my husband and I divorced.

Like I said, I should have just kept my mouth shut, in hindsight, and I should have stayed neutral in this drama of a situation. But I got very TRIGGERED by Leslie talking dirt about Amy.

Whenever confronted with their abuse, the victim is ALWAYS portrayed by their abuser as having a mental health disorder AND of being sheer crazy. And that is so unfair and unjust. The abuser often instigates a "smear campaign" against their victim when accused of abuse. And that's also why I told Amy what Leslie had said about her.

I am exiting from this community, regardless because I am finding it to be rather toxic, so whatever trash Leslie now says about me almost doesn't matter.

But, what are your thoughts? Was I in the wrong by trying to help and defend Amy?