You identify with what this girl told you. You can’t identify with HER because you don’t really know what happened. You don’t even know her that well. You can’t believe everything people tell you.

This girl’s mother sounds trashy. I am an involved mother, but I can’t imagine messaging bar attendees- if my daughter was a bartender- about her personal business. Or in fact messaging anyone. Highly inappropriate. I’d be more understanding if the mother was so upset and confronted abuser-not safe- but it’s understandable. Not messaging everyone. Both mother and daughter instigated drama. They sound drama driven. I’d not consider her messaging people “involving anyone”. You don’t have to get involved in drama. It’s optional.

I know a lot of people, and have quite a few friends. Behaviors of these people are just not something that typically happens with mature adults. It’s immature. And kind of trashy. Everything you ever wrote about these people just sends the message about lack of class and common sense. The only time this kind of drama happens relatively regularly is in adolescence. It’s very common in high school because that’s the age. It’s not typical adult behavior.