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Recently, I had an issue with someone being transphobic towards me in private messages to my friends. (This is on another site) So I brought it to the staff, who promptly banned me on the idea that me telling them someone is transphobic is "slander".
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Possibly another option for handling this situation might have been to specifically object to the comments, without labeling someone "transphobic".
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I just feel so terrible lately... I know I didn't do anything wrong, but it feels like everyone is mad at me for some reason or whatever and I can't do anything to make them see me any different....
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I'm really sorry that you are feeling so bad.
If I could make a suggestion: In the three situations, your response was to apply a broad label to someone: "transphobic", "question character", "Nazi".
My suggestion is to avoid using broad labels. Instead, precisely target your responses to the specific situation at hand. For example: "These comments are hurtful to me", "Why do you support these policies?", "Your suggestion treats LGBTQ+ people unfairly".
If someone were to call you straightphobic/bad character/Nazi, how open would you be to calm, rational discussion with them?