My wife and I feel stuck and don't know what to do. I have a step son that is turning 30 this year.
A little background, he has had a pattern of being an under achiever his whole life. He quit school and has never gotten his GED. He has floated from family member to family member and lived off them until either his drug use or his non productivity has caused him to leave. When bettering himself, getting a job, getting training for a life sustaining job comes up he gives nothing but excuses, he will get some part time food service job to satisfy who he lives with but will go no further.
He had found himself in Atlanta living with the father of a friend. He left because he said the man was intrusive, always going through his things, and spying on him. This left him in a crisis, so we took him in.
my wife has a traveling job so she stays for a few months in different places across the country. He was going through the same pattern as before, not working, not trying to get any training, and getting a part time job to keep the peace. I got to spend 2 months with them in our RV earlier this year. He started telling his mother I was spying on him, that I was whispering all sorts of things to him at all hours of the day and night. He told her I bugged his handheld game console, and bugged his car. I did notice at this point he wasn't sleeping. he went so far as to take apart his car to find what he thought I put in it to track him.
He has had a history of drug use, mostly weed, but there have been other things, just do not know what and when. He hides stuff really well and can lie at the drop of a hat. I really don't take anything from him at face value anymore as I have caught him lying so often.
He has now done this 3 more times, once when he was staying with me at the house. He is currently staying with my wife out of state and is telling her I am spying on the both of them, and now I have bugged her car and phone....and that I am talking to him all the time. Needless to say we are both concerned, he needs help but being an adult he has to admit he has a problem and do something about it. He won't, he is sure I am causing him all these issues.
What can we do, at this point it seems like we will have to support him the rest of our lives and deal with the consequences of his issues. As his stepfather I have kept our confrontations from getting physical, but I'm not getting any younger. Does anyone have any advice for someone in my situation?